i haven’t been writing much. i’ve had other things on my mind. other stories telling themselves to me. and me needing to listen, no matter if i like their directions or not. emotions are stories. disappointment always has a narrative. hurt always has a history. movement comes and goes with stories. two of the stories i’m having to listen to (and am a part of) are not new to me. i’ve felt their essences before. i see shimmers of past experiences in their scenes and acts. i see them and i look through them to another side, a new storyline that i can’t quite imagine yet. i’ve heard these stories before. this doesn’t mean they will end as the others did. also because the others are not ‘over’ in many senses. but they are familiar. and this familiarity doesn’t move me. it tires me. it already tired me during the first time, but then the exhaustion still had longevity, it could keep me in a certain space for a long period of time. that longevity is gone now. i’m just tired of these kinds of stories. i remain open to new turns, new acts, even in the relationships/stories i’m talking about here and especially in general. but right now, feeling where they’re going, i’m just tired, disappointed and sad.

and i’ll keep moving.