Are you the person who wrote this?
Are you still that person?
Why do I feel more of you in this letter than in our interactions?
Am I holding on to a false image?
Most definitely.
But the question is: is it worth it to embark upon the road required to dissolve that image?
And will the new image be worth it compared to the one I read and feel in this letter?
I don’t know. But I have faith.
Faith in you. Faith in me. Faith in our relationship. Faith in love. Faith in life.
Faith that comes from where?
Experience and delusion. Both are necessary.
But as it pertains to a certain inkling of my faith, I fail to feel it coming from / being based on experience and/or delusion.
At a certain point, the categories my mind has created to rationalize my faith fail to explain it to the me that feels, to the me that is alive.
And that scares and confuses me, just as much as it keeps me and the faith I experience alive.