Back here again, sort of. Things have changed. A lot. Maybe too much.

How do i get out of this? How do i stop returning here? Over and over again.

i feel like i’m trying my best already. But it doesn’t feel like enough.

If i struggle to keep up with myself, how can i expect others to do anything even close? But i still want that, among other things.

Why do i keep ending up here?

Patience would probably help. But for the first time in a while i don’t seem to have it anymore. And i know a part of why: i’m not really comfortable/satisfied/fulfilled where i am. i have acquired and co-created new desires over the last-

Fuck.

That went okay.

Two more days to get somewhat sorted. Possible.

i know you won’t take it easy until then. But you feel it: the trust you have in the others this time. Work with that. And with yourself as you are now. It won’t be perfect. It might even end up pushing you apart. If it does, you weren’t-aren’t ready. And that’s okay. Draw some (but not all) different consequences from last time and you might not end up here again.

But first, disaggregate and sort your feelings out a bit, to a communicable level. And go from there.