i'm searching for a word, a concept, a label one might even say, to not only describe the types of relationships i want, but to conceive them with. i know very well that this is a difficult, fragile and risky endeavor. Relationships are intense sites of difference, impermanence, chaos, deterritorialization. Trying to capture them in one concept will rarely work, and never for long. But i still feel the need for a concept, one with many meanings of course, but a ("single") concept nonetheless. i think that concept is friendship. My approach to most, if not all relationships are based in relationship anarchist logics and ethics. One important aspect of those logics and ethics is that rigid labels (and the expectations and unequal/uncommunicated power dynamics inherent to them) are to be deconstructed and avoided. Another is that hierarchies should be problematized and attempts should be made to live and connect without them in place. i desire to apply these aspects. i also desire to have a concept to hold onto, to collect the fragments of my relationships with and to help co-arrange them in ways i and my partners desire. The complicated tensions, partial contradictions and synergies among these desires is what attracts me to friendship as a/the concept to describe and co-create the relationships i desire with. Friendship as a category/concept is more inherently open than other labels used for relationships such as 'romantic partner / spouse', 'family member' (mother, sister, father etc.), 'colleague' etc. Friendship is (relatively) less institutionalized as a concept and practice. This is what attracts me to it and also why i think it comes closer than other concepts to being in sync with relationship anarchist logics and ethics. Friendship is a frame. Friendship is many frames. Every frame has borders. The malleability of those borders is important to me. Various levels of stability without rigidity and violence is what i seek. For that i need a frame. No frame, no potential for stability. But with any frame comes delineation, drawing lines, "this, but not this", which are also always (no matter how small) acts of rigidity and violence. Ethics are messy. Total fluidity and absence of structure is (somewhat sadly) not possible. Therefore: the obligation to choose a frame/frames awarely and dynamically. i'm currently trying to write what i feel like talking about. i'm trying to translate from one medium of expression to another. if i were talking, the words would flow much easier than they are currently. i think for now the most important aspect of this text has been the statement that friendships are less institutionalized. This 'fact' is a very important factor that draws me towards friendship as a/the concept for my desired relationships. This is what i'll focus my thinking on for now.